I Loved You First
by RikuxHeart
Summary: Nothing is easy when it comes to matters of the heart. This is something Sora is quickly finding out the hard way. No amount of battling Heartless and world hopping can prepare him for the first inevitable lesson of falling in love. Heartbreak. Little does he know, Riku is having a similar dilemma.


Riku stirred groggily and cracked open his eyes just enough to view his alarm clock. The innocent device displayed the numbers 3:02, and the tired teenager had no delusions about whether that was morning or afternoon. He wasn't entirely sure what had disturbed his slumber at first. Could have been a nightmare he didn't remember, but it seemed more plausible that the tree branch scraping and tapping against his window was the culprit. Annoyed, the silverette rolled over and attempted to block out the sound, intent to get a few more hours of shut eye before he had to get up for school. With any luck, the gentle rumble of thunder in the distance would pull him back to sleep in no time. It would have, if not for the sudden, soft rapping against that same window.

Bleary, aquamarine eyes snapped open again, wide awake and alert at the sound. It was too consistent to be anything but a knock, but who in their right mind...? Picking his head up to peer towards the offender, he was met with a familiar face just on the other side of the glass, and with a soft groan, the silver haired teen flopped back onto his pillow and stayed there until the knocking resumed once again. Realizing that his best friend wasn't going to take no for an answer, Riku threw back the covers and peeled himself out of bed. The a/c chilled air was quick to leech away the warmth from his shirtless upper body as he stumbled over to the window and flipped the lock, sliding the window up with a scowl fixed firmly in place.

"What the hell, Sora," he hissed quietly and leaned out to inspect the roof for any dampness. The rain hadn't come yet, it would seem, but judging by the clouds overhead, it was well on its way. "My mom is going to kill you if she finds out you've been climbing the lattice again." All his irritation at the younger boy earned him was a sheepish smile and a shrug of his shoulders.

"Are you gonna let me in or not?"

Riku narrowed his eyes at his friend, giving him the impression that he was entertaining the idea of closing the window on him and going back to bed, but he stepped away to admit him only a second later. Resigning to the fact that he wasn't getting back to sleep any time soon, the silverette trudged back to his bed and flipped the small lamp on, flooding the room with soft light as Sora toed off his sneakers and closed the window behind him.

Now able to see better, Riku took in his friend's appearance and demeanor, from his haphazard pajamas that consisted of navy blue basketball shorts and a white muscle shirt that hung loosely from his lanky but toned upper body, his messier than usual cinnamon spikes, to a pair of bloodshot blue eyes sporting dark shadows beneath them. If he had to put a name to it, he would say his friend looked like shit. "What's going on, Sora? It's three in the morning and- have you even gone to sleep yet?" Riku asked after making himself comfortable on the bed again.

"No," came the groaned reply from the brunet as he walked over and sank down heavily onto the edge of the bed, dropping his face into his hands with a sigh. "I can't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep for days."

Riku was at least partially aware of his best friend's recent dilemma. All week he had to nudge the boy awake in every class they shared, but Riku chalked it up to Sora's incessant habit of having too much sugar before bed, and Sora never argued otherwise, saying nothing more than he just slept like crap that night. This, however, didn't look like Sora coming down off a sugar high. This was something else. It didn't take a genius to realize at this point that something was troubling the boy deeply, and Riku could have slapped himself for having not noticed it sooner.

"So... What's up?" He was cautious in asking, unsure if he was prepared at this hour for whatever his friend unloaded on him, but at least he was alert enough to pay attention. So help him, if Sora was just upset over something bad that happened on his favorite television show again, he was going to bodily throw his best friend out his window without a single remorse.

"Well," Sora began slowly, sitting up straighter and rubbing at his arm as if it physically ached. "You're my best friend, right? You said I could talk to you about anything if I had a problem..."

Alright, if that didn't get his attention, the uncertain tone of Sora's voice definitely did. "Well yeah, but you know, a phone works just as well. You didn't have to walk all the way over here just to talk to me." Granted, he lived less than a block away, but that was beside the point.

"I know, but this seemed too important to talk about over the phone, and you did say no matter what time or place-"

"I don't remember that part, but go on," the silverette cut in.

"But you did! You said..." Clearing his throat, the brunet dropped his voice an octave or three and puffed his chest out. "No matter when or where, if you've got a problem, I'll always be there to listen."

"I do not sound like that," Riku scoffed, rolling his eyes as he resisted the urge to laugh. Yeah, his friend was definitely sleep deprived. "But anyway, what actually IS the problem, Sor?"

When Sora fell quiet and lowered his eyes to his lap where his hands were folded, Riku took another moment to examine his friend more closely. Sora was typically an emotional person, but he was usually bubbling over with positive emotion, laughing and smiling as if all was right with the world, even when it wasn't. Sora was a social butterfly and got along with everyone he met, yet this week, he'd seen a different side of his friend that he wasn't sure he liked. It almost seemed like Sora had been withdrawing from his circle of friends, spending more time lost in his thoughts or dozing off in class than interacting with the level of exuberance that was expected of him. Every once and a while he had a bad week, but he was quick to bounce back from it after a weekend of rest, relaxation, and a marathon of video games. Right now, though, Riku wasn't so sure his friend would make it that long; it was only Wednesday and Sora looked utterly drained.

"Sora, what's wrong?" This time, Riku asked with more force in his voice, prompting the conflicted teen to start talking. What he got was a jumbled mess of syllables that he couldn't make head or tails of. "I'm sorry, what?"

With an exasperated sigh, Sora repeated himself a little more clearly. "I said, Kairi likes someone..."

Riku lofted a brow, confused. "Um, okay? Is that supposed to mean something? Kairi likes a lot of people, she's a friendly person, just like you." Was it still too late to toss his friend head first out his window? A single glance outside at the droplets of water falling from the sky squashed the idea immediately.

"No, Riku!" The brunet huffed and stomped his foot, then stood to pace the floor. "I mean Kairi actually 'likes' someone, like... Like likes them!"

"Jeez, Sora! Keep your voice down!" Riku hissed quietly and glanced towards his closed bedroom door. If they woke up his mother, she would wring both their necks, and that was not an exaggeration. Sora didn't seem particularly apologetic for raising his voice, but after another circle around Riku's room, he flopped back onto the bed hard enough that the the wooden frame creaked. "So what's the big deal? Are you even sure? Kairi never mentioned anything to me about liking anyone. Far as I knew she wasn't even interested in dating in high school."

Sora shot his best friend his most passable 'are you stupid?' look, then sighed and adverted his gaze to the rain drops pelting Riku's bedroom window. "Yeah... I'm sure. She told me herself."

Riku frowned at the defeat he heard in Sora's voice and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Does it bother you that much? I mean, it was bound to happen eventually, right? Unless... you're upset that she's got a thing for someone else and not you. If that's the case, then I would say that's nobodies fault but yours. You've literally had all the time in the world to tell her." He hated to sound so crass about it, but he wasn't going to lie or sugar coat the truth at three in the morning just to spare Sora's feelings.

"...It isn't like that at all," Sora said, so quietly that Riku had trouble believing that he'd heard him correctly.

...Okay?

He really was too tired for this shit. "Then what is it, Sora?" It was difficult to keep the impatience out of his voice, but somehow, he managed. "Do you even know who she likes? Or even if they like her back? If you aren't interested in dating Kai yourself, then what's the big deal?"

"... Because I like them, too." Sora's reply was so small, so frail, that that Riku couldn't believe it had come from the same person who could easily out cheer an entire squad of cheerleaders. His eyes widened as his friend went back to staring down at his lap with the most heartbroken expression on his youthful face. He'd never seen his friend look so down, and for the first time that night, Riku was at a loss for what to say, at least while he was still reeling with shock.

Oh? Oh... OH.

"Sora..."

"I'm so confused, Riku!" The brunet exclaimed softly, wringing his hands together. "I would feel like the worst friend in the world if I told her, because I care about her happiness, too, and I would never go behind her back and steal them away, even if I have liked them for longer. I don't want this to ruin our friendship, but it would kill me to see them together, too..."

Riku blinked. Slowly. His groggy brain was still trying to process Sora's confession. Everything after that would have to wait until he could swallow that pill. Sora and Kairi liked the same person. Like... 'like' liked. So... Did that mean Kai was into girls? Or was Sora into guys? And just who the hell was it, anyway? For some reason, Riku wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to the latter question. Used to taking risks like this, Riku proceeded with caution nonetheless. "Wait, are you telling me that both you AND Kairi are into the same guy?"

"Is that all you took out of everything I've said?" Sora snapped, turning his head to glare icy daggers at his friend, making the silverette wince.

"No, but one thing at a time, here. I'm still trying to get over you admitting to me that you're gay."

"I'm not gay," the brunet hissed, earning him a skeptical look from the older teen. "I'm not. I've never even looked at another guy like that before. It's just... this one. He's... different.

"But you've looked at girls, then?" Riku would have to call Sora's bluff on that. The petite brunet was constantly surrounded by he most dolled up babes in Destiny High and he didn't bat an eye at a single one of them. He'd never even caught Sora checking out Kairi in the entire year they'd been back on the island, and everyone checked out Kairi.

"Why is this conversation turning into twenty questions about my sexuality, Riku!"

"Maybe because you never told me," the older of the two was quick to supply, lofting a fine silver brow.

"I'm telling you now, so shut up about it." Sora was clearly flustered, both from the embarrassing situation, and frustration. Iit was evident in the light blush that dusted his tan cheeks and the way he clenched and released his jaw repeatedly. It wasn't but a moment later that he was struck with another thought and that rosy hue vanished from his face in horror. "Oh god... You're not... disgusted, are you?"

Riku snorted and rested back against the headboard of his bed. "What? Of course not." Stretching his legs out and crossing his ankles, he sighed and folded his arms over his naked chest. "I'm not even going to bother asking who it is because you probably aren't going to tell me anyway, but if he isn't worth your friendship with Kai, then why are you beating yourself up over this?"

There was a pregnant pause in which the brunet gripped the edge of the mattress and stared out into the rain, his brows knitted so tightly that his forehead wrinkled. "Because I'm not so sure Kairi feels the same way..."

It took Riku a moment to mull that over in his sleep addled brain before he realized what his best friend meant. Sora cared deeply about his relationships. The kid had a bad habit of wearing his heart on his sleeve, exposed to the world for anyone to trample on. Sora was always putting everyone's happiness before his own. Kairi on the other hand was fiercely driven and determined, sometimes selfish. When she wanted something, she stopped at nothing until she got it. Sora didn't want to hurt her by sweeping her crush out from under her, but would Kairi afford Sora the same courtesy?

Riku could feel the deep frown tugging at the corners of his lips and he closed his eyes. There had to be a solution to this, but right now, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness and the waking world, the pieces weren't lining up and the silverette's shoulders sagged noticeably. "Look, there's nothing we can do about it right now, so let's just get some sleep and I'll help you figure something out in the morning.

Sora knew his friend was right, but that didn't quell the deep ache that had settled in the pit of his stomach. He didn't think Riku would understand just how desperate he felt unless he spilled the whole story, but the silverette was right in his assumption that Sora wasn't ready to do that, whether he didn't really want him to know or it just didn't matter was yet to be seen.

Mirroring Riku's sigh, the brunet raked his fingers back through his unruly spikes, disheveling them even more. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he grumbled. Without asking-because he really didn't need to- Sora rolled and climbed to the top of the bed, flopping face first into the pillow on the other side of Riku's full size mattress, then hugged the plush mound tightly.

Riku watched him for a moment with an expression of pity and concern, then shook his head and reached over to shut off the light. Having grown accustomed to the cool temperature of his room, he laid down outside of the covers beside his friend and stared up at the dark ceiling.

"Hey, Riku?" Came the hushed voice from Sora as he lifted his head from the pillow a few minutes later, and Riku canted his head to look at him.

"Yeah?" He murmured back.

"You really don't mind? Y'know... That I like a guy." Sora asked with such blatant hesitance that Riku was forced to crack a smile.

"No... I don't mind. Now shut up and go to sleep." Rolling over so that his back was to his friend, Riku closed his eyes and willed himself to follow his own advice before Sora conked out and started kicking, but his last thoughts before oblivion claimed him troubled him, even in his dreams.

 _"...What do I do now?"_


End file.
